Happy Birthday to My Loose Acquaintance

Happy Birthday to My Loose Acquaintance

Have you ever wished a “Happy Birthday” to someone you barely know on Facebook? Of course you have. We all have. And some of us even had fun doing it! More than likely though, you only wished someone a happy birthday because you felt a random moral obligation to congratulate them. And this small act of kindness helped you sleep at night. No, not as much as the Zzzquil and Quaaludes, but it helped a touch. We last featured Garfunkel and Oats on Golden Twist after they released their amusing “Sports, Go Sports” sketch. Not long after they published that video on their YouTube channel, they unveiled a bit titled “Happy Birthday to My Loose Acquaintance,” and even though it’s a year old, it — amazingly — is still culturally relevant today. (Your sarcasm meter should be going wild at my use of the word “amazingly.” If it’s not, get it checked.) Through song, Garfunkel and Oats point out the absurdity of taking ten seconds to wish a stranger on social media a happy birthday. A lyrical highlight: “Facebook told me, it’s your birthday, and I wouldn’t have known any other way. Because we co-exist in a mutually unstated unattached cohesion that Facebook created.” So, the next time you send birthday wishes to a loose Facebook acquaintance, keep this song in mind. Hell, maybe even direct them to this video as you congratulate them. No reason to leave them out of the joke, if you ask...

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Unexpected Thug Life at Its Absolute FINEST!

Unexpected Thug Life at Its Absolute FINEST!

Post by Unexpected Thug Life. So unless you’ve been living under some kind of anti-Facebook dictatorship (or just under a rock with no Internet access whatsoever), you’ve no doubt already heard of or stumbled upon the glorious, high comedy that is the “Unexpected Thug Life” series. For the un-indoctrinated amongst you, it’s essentially a video series chronicling various people, animals or situations in which said people, animal or overall situation abruptly (and usually unexpectedly, even despite you technically know something crazy is coming) shifting into giving absolutely ZERO f’s. It’s funny, it’s often delightfully surprising – and in the case of this video – well, it can once in a while simply offer a straight-up masterpiece. You’re welcome in advance. c1de78472aa028bcfb0075ae7d0533def4b3f9f7037eaf0d6b...

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Yeah, That’s NOT What She Said…

Yeah, That’s NOT What She Said…

As someone who’s career “that’s what she said!” batting average is currently sitting under .200, I have a sort of love-hate relationship with the whole thing. On the one hand – thanks to my annoying, ADHD-addled mind juggling approximately 137 things at once usually — my “that’s what she said quips” almost always fall flat. Or come entirely too late. Or just don’t really make sense whatsoever. But on the other hand, when you get the timing right and you’re saying it in response to something that, “Hey, by golly, she WOULD say something like that, guffaw, guffaw,” it can be truly magical. (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!...

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The Real Reason For Dad Jokes

The Real Reason For Dad Jokes

It’s common knowledge that all Dads have stupid, corny jokes that they all think are hilarious. But why is this? What evolutionary or genetic explanation is there for this that isn’t too scientific and boring? I have the answer my friends. It’s because, as Dads, most guys had to more or less say goodbye to their younger, party-hardy lifestyle. As such – and this is especially true if said Dads friends didn’t manage to have kids at the same time as them – they pretty much stopped hanging out with their friends on anything close to a regular basis. Because of this, the poor Dad – now out of his element and thrown into the “wild” of parenthood – basically has to stay amused all by his lonesome, but he also has to keep it PG (at the naughtiest – can’t have the kids being corrupted, you know?). As a result, Dad jokes become his new close friend and solace. Thanks, I know it’s a solid theory. It’s because it’s...

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Smoking Catnip for Dummies: Everything You Need (or Wanted) to Know About Meowijuana

Smoking Catnip for Dummies: Everything You Need (or Wanted) to Know About Meowijuana

So you want to smoke catnip, huh? You crazy, crazy bastard… Smoking catnip certainly isn’t something your everyday, average Joe Schmoe ever really thinks about ever doing, you’re at least to be commended on your efforts to research this topic first before sparking up that sweet, sweet meowijuana. So, consider this a formal commendation. Well done! So, what exactly happens when one smokes catnip? Is it dangerous? Is the smoke dangerous if inhaled by your (hopefully) smoking buddy Tinkles the cat? Most importantly of all, does it give you any kind of high whatsoever? Worry not, my groovy, creative, young sir or madam, because we’re here to help you learn all this and then some because, well… that’s just what we do around here. We try to help people and… stuff. Regardless, you’ve come to the right place. So let’s jump into the lesson, shall we? The Basics Catnip (also known via its scientific name, Nepeta cataria) surprisingly enough belongs in the mint family. While originally native to Europe, it spread to other continents after sea voyage and trade became more common back around the 1500’s. Now known pretty much universally as catnip (although we much prefer our new invented name of meowijuana), it was also known as catswort and fieldbalm back in the day. Health/Medicinal Benefits Believe it or not, catnip also has a slew of various medical benefits and has long been used in China (because… of course it was) for treating a variety of different health problems. In addition to helping aid healthy digestion, catnip can also act as a sedative, menstruation promoter, tranquilizer, and even as a cure for infant colic. It can additionally be ingested in tea form to reap its many benefits. Catnip tea itself has long been used many European countries as a remedy for the common cold, chest congestion and to even help loosen up relaxed muscles. Chewing the leaves of the plant has also been known to help relieve toothaches, offering a surprisingly pleasant and aromatic flavor – arguably the exact opposite of what you’d think catnip would actually taste like. Although thought of as a beneficial side effect when used for the treatment of fever, smoking the plant promotes mild to moderate sweating, which is obviously a negative side effect (unless you’re an absolute goof who actually enjoys getting all soaked, gross and sweaty). Lastly, as all of this weren’t enough already, smoking catnip can and has been used to treat both asthma and bronchitis. Like most medicinal herbs and plants, the overall effect of administering catnip on humans can vary greatly depending on the method of consumption. In addition to smoking it, chewing it and making tea with...

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Nine Amazing Places to View the Northern Lights

Nine Amazing Places to View the Northern Lights

Take a long look at any traveler bucket list and it’s likely that seeing the Northern Lights is a big priority, if it hasn’t already been crossed off. This natural phenomenon lights up the sky with beautiful greens, purples, reds, and yellows, and is caused by the collision of solar wind with magnetospheric charged particles (don’t worry – that’s the sciencey bit over and done with)! Although it’s best known for its northern cameos, it can be witnessed in many different areas of the world. Named after the Roman Goddess of dawn, Aurora, you’re more likely to catch a glimpse of this natural light show where light pollution is low. Normally, you’ll see the lights between 5pm and 2am, when the sky is clear. The lights aren’t very predictable – so luck has to be on your side – but they are more commonly witnessed between September and March in northernmost countries. Sweden – Torneträsk Up in Swedish Lapland, Torneträsk is a picturesque lake, even if ‘träsk’ does mean ‘swamp’ in standard Swedish! You’re most likely to see the lights on a cool, dark night with little moonlight and clear skies. In the winter, Torneträsk often freezes over, so you will enjoy the Northern Lights from a frozen wonderland. Sweden – Jukkasjärvi Another Swedish lake, Jukkasjärvi used to be a Sami marketplace and is surrounded by beautiful natural scenery. However, this destination is best known for its iconic Ice Hotel, which has become world-famous for its amazing architecture. Every year, this jaw-dropping inn is rebuilt from snow and ice, including the chairs and beds. Artists from all over the world are asked to create individual, annual decorations – there is even a bar with glasses made of ice! The Ice Chapel is a firm favourite for marrying couples, even if the structure remains below freezing at -5°C (pretty chilly!). From this frozen palace, you can also catch the Northern Lights when it occurs. Iceland – Þingvellir (Thingvellir) National Park Þingvellir is one of the most popular destinations in Iceland, and for a good reason! It’s home to Þingvallavatn, the largest natural lake in Iceland. It also boasts one of the oldest parliaments in the world, Alþingi, which was established in 930 and stayed in this National Park until 1798. There are great hiking trails and camping grounds, as well as scuba diving for the very brave! Seeing as Iceland is so sparsely populated, light pollution is unlikely to be a problem, making this one of the best places in the world to catch the Northern Lights. Read the rest of this post here. This article is courtesy of...

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