5 days to the opening of my tour. I don’t want to over-hype this thing, but attendance will cure all known diseases. — @ConanOBrien

It troubles me that an entire generation of high schoolers is now unable to quote a single Seinfeld episode. — @BeauBock

Was reading a paperback book but couldn’t get the damn page to scroll down. —@DDDBU

I put the gin & lit in originality. —@mikey_m00n

I never bought Peeps before so I got the yellow ones because they seemed the most natural. It made sense at the time. —@AmyJane