Golden Tweet of the Day: @derekasaurus
I finally get the Eyjafjallajökull jokes! It’s funny because the letters don’t spell words I know, like ham and NASCAR. Good one, Internet. — @derekasaurus
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @janet_sanders
Life is most definitely not like a box of chocolates. It’s more like 45,000 screaming fans at a Slayer concert when allergy season hits. — @janet_sanders
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @ruthakers
I didn’t run the Boston Marathon today but I did have to walk inside to fix the order the drive-thru messed up so I know how they feel. — @ruthakers
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @Zaius13
Today’s my wife’s birthday, so I spent most of it holding her purse while she shopped for clothes. No, my balls weren’t in there. I checked. — @Zaius13
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @willconley777
As an iconoclast you can clast only so many icons before you yourself have been handily clasted by EVERYONE. — @willconley777
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @macarchangel
Just tried adding location to our tweets and the results were a mite too specific. Who wants to read “tweeted via a Shell public restroom?” —@macarchangel
read moreGolden tweet of the Day: @PunkRockie
I’m about to watch ‘Funny or Die’ on HBO. Wow. Now I’m nervous… I hope I laugh… — @PunkRockie
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @Moltz
Based on current events, key issues this Nov. will be mine safety and volcanoes. The time has never been better for a mole man candidate. — @Moltz
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @NikiWithIssues
Whenever I try to daydream, my mind is somewhere else. — @NikiWithIssues
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @deefizzy
That was creepy. I look to my left and see someone who looks exacty like me… then realized I was looking in a mirror. — @deefizzy
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