Golden Tweet of the Day: @rainnwilson
I wish my iPad were smaller and made calls, or that it folded up and had a keyboard attached. — @rainnwilson
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @FakeAPStylebook
It’s “for all intents and purposes.” “Intensive Purposes” is the hot new medical drama from CBS. — @FakeAPStylebook
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @OMGfacts
Most people (65%) tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left. #omgfacts — @OMGfacts
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @fireland
Just found a report card from third grade: “Joshie is terrified of spiders, soccer, robots of any size, his father, sex, clouds, things.” — @fireland
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @adamisacson
Hi. I’m in a staff meeting. There are 83 ceiling tiles in our meeting room. And 8 light fixtures, with 24 fluorescent bulbs. That is all. — @adamisacson
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @MrBigFists
If you think writing in the proper tense is difficult now, just wait until time travel was possible. — @MrBigFists
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @hotdogsladies
Author Dan Brown strode through the brass lobby of a bar and ordered a beer, his eyes white as something white. The bartender had eyes too. — @hotdogsladies
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @sween
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one’s eating fish ever again. — @sween
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @badbanana
I like my women the same way I like my coffee: Ground up and stored in the freezer. I MEAN HOT AND STRONG OR SOMETHING. — @badbanana
read moreGolden Tweet of the Day: @bestgirlbetty
I’m all doped up on meds at work, which means I’m totally starting a band called Nipple Confusion and tonight’s our first gig. — @bestgirlbetty
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